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I update this page regularly as in the last few years, my business has evolved and so have I. I've grown more confident in my skills as a therapist and as a business owner, and like everyone life has ups and downs. 2022/2023 in particular was a turning point for me on a personal level, and it's important to me that I continue to share things with you having talked about myself so openly on the previous 'about me' pages. Especially as many of you have been with me the whole time.

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I previously wrote about a slow decline in my mental health over several years, my experience with stress & anxiety, how it affected my life & how it led me on my journey to becoming a massage therapist. I talked about how I suffered with burnout due to stress and how my mind & body hit the pause button on me forcing me to reevaluate my health and wellbeing. This is a snippet of what I wrote:

 

"I was a bit lost to be honest & at times didn't recognise my own face in the mirror. I was the one who always held it together. I had done so relatively successfully, until all those small things that I'd not processed or come to terms with crept up on me, culminating in what can only be described as total burnout due to a prolonged period of high stress. I was trying to secretly cover-up feelings of constant irrational worry, taking on too much & not being aware of the impact that it was having on not only myself, but the people around me".

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I experienced a detached feeling for many years, a detachment from myself and who I felt I used to be, and also detachment from others. Not understanding what and why things felt differrent, but the so-called 'burnout' was what I thought was wrong andbeing forced to take a step back from things enabled me to take stock, start my massage therapy training, start my own business, find a better work/life balance and my mental health did improve. 

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Then in 2022, all those feelings from a few years ago started to become overwhelming again. I was totally fatigued and was struggling to cope with the seemingly simplest of things day to day. I think I'd been concentrating so hard on my mental health and actually becoming the 'stress and anxiety' label that I had totally failed to make the link between this and the cause of a load of physical symptoms that had plaqued me for nearly 8 years. 

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During those years I had been desperately trying to get answers from professionals about the physical symptoms I was suffering with. Including hot flushes and night sweats, heart palpitations, very low blood pressure, huge peaks and troughs in emotions ranging from pure rage to crying spells (your typical PMS symptoms on an extreme level). I had multiple blood tests and saw a gaenacologist and an endocrinologist, I kept a diary of my cycle alongside tracking my mood, the hot flushes and the night sweats which were all interlinked.

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The only question I was ever asked was 'are your periods regular'? To which I'd honestly answer yes so the possibility of perimenopause or premature ovarian insufficiency (POI) was never raised. It was also something that wasn't even considered because at the time I was still in my thirties. I was certainly not as informed as I am now, nor was I as confident in questioning things further when I was told there was nothing they could do.

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But in 2023, I reached a point where I'd had enough. I shouldn't have to put up with the barrage of ever-increasing symptoms rendering me the shell of my former self, and as menopause and perimenopasue was being talked about a whole lot more in the press, I armed myself with oodles of knowledge and finally made the link. So I made sure I got some help this time and you won't be surprised to learn that this year has finally seen me diagnosed as perimenopausal due to extremely low oestrogen levels, which has likely been the case since my mid-thirties. I'm currently prescribed HRT and working out which regime is the one for me (it is not one size fits all) and I am noticing a real difference in my symptoms. I want this for all women who may be suffering in a similar way and have completed a Menopause Practitioners Course so that I can bring this knowledge into my therapy room to raise awareness. Having shared my story, one of my clients discussed her symptoms with me and I received this message not long after:"I have low oestrogen so they are putting me on HRT. Thank you so much for talking about this, I wouldn't even have considered it if you hadn't shared what you are going through!" 

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However...as the months went on, the improvement in my symptoms wasn't enough so I was referred to a specialist, who wasn't convinced that it was as straight forward as perimenopause. He suggested that it could be Sheehan's Syndrome, this is when the blood supply is reduced so significantly and suddenly after childbirth that part of the pituitary gland dies. This is turn affects all of the hormones that it controls, which puts the body totally out of whack and unable to produce what I need to function! The main hormones that are affected are also those during perimenopause and menopause, hence my symptoms and my blood test results showing no oestrogen or testosterone. So taking into account my medical history, it seems more likey that this is where the problem lies. 

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This is where I am up to and there may still be work to do, so I'm on the waiting list for endocrinology who will hopefully be able to provide a definitive diagnosis with an MRI scan, to see the extent of the damage to the pituitary gland.  It's important to me that if it is Sheehan's Syndrome, I get a definitive diagnosis because treatment is for life. Therefore, I need to understand the long term effects and risks, and I also don't want to have to fight for the rest of my life to get the hormones I need. I have struggled for over 10 years just to get to this point, as well as other women having to fight for the hormones that they need to function in their every day lives.

 

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The more I learn about massage therapy and the more I witness the positive difference it makes in peoples' lives (including my own), the more I know that the hard work was totally worth it and that becoming a massage therapist was more than just a career change for me. It was all meant to be and I can use my own experience with mental health and hormone deficiencies, together with the powerful healing therapy of massage to really make a difference to your lives.

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My therapy room is our own little sanctuary, mine and yours. I absolutely love sharing such a safe space with you all and providing you with a calm and nurturing environment for you to reset your mind and body.

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Thank you for reading, Rachel x